Usually the conversation goes something like this: “I can’t understand it. I’ve given them a good commission package, we do all their administration, we give them leads but they are just not doing enough business.”
Equally, I’ve had the reverse conversation with many sales people and they tend to say: “My boss doesn’t value what I do; they don’t understand what I have to put up with; they’re only interested the numbers. I don’t get enough support.”
I’d argue that, for many, the common misunderstandings that lead to these opposing comments are due to a breaking of the ‘psychological contract’ between the two parties.
This is essentially the unwritten, unsaid and assumed agreement that each party thought they had with the other and, for those interested in this ‘contract’, there is a wealth of freely available reading on the internet.
Clearly, some people are in the wrong roles and will never succeed as managers or sales people without an unfeasible amount of development.
However, if you’ve succeeded in a similar role before, the chances are you can again.
There is a simple model which can be used by either party to help make the emotional contract more apparent to all and therefore less likely to be broken again.
It involves sitting down with your boss or the person who directly reports to you and having a ‘contracting conversation’ with them along the lines of: “What are you trying to achieve and how can I help you?” followed by: “This is what I’m trying to achieve and how can you help me?”
Here are some guidelines on how to run the conversation:
– Focus on the other party’s agenda exclusively first – don’t lead with your needs.
– Generate possibilities for how you can help each other and then make sure you write down those you have agreed on.
– Be explicit about what you want or don’t want, for example: “I want you to tell me when I’ve done a good job not just when I haven’t”. It’s often the ‘soft’ factors that are deemed to be the most important.
– Finally, remember this is the start of a process, refer back to the contact at future meetings and talk explicitly about how it’s working between you.
It often feels hard to do something so simple, but believe me it can have a powerful effect on repairing a relationship and generating renewed motivation to work together.
Peter Welch is head of sales and distribution at Bridgewater Equity Release
