WIM ED&I Group: Why are men less engaged in ED&I and how do we change that? – Tehrani

The point wasn’t to provoke but to explore the hidden obstacles that keep many men on the sidelines, and to ask what we can do to bring them in.

The evidence base here is surprisingly thin. One US study suggests that many white men feel ‘forgotten’ by ED&I. Their reasons tended to fall into three camps: not feeling included in the conversation, fear of saying the wrong thing, and the belief that if others gain, they must lose. While the context was American, the themes ring true for our industry too.

Speakers:

Roger Churaman, regional sales manager at Paragon Bank
Stephen Chitty, area development manager at Kensington Mortgages

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‘An inclusion gap’

RC: Men, particularly those who feel relatively privileged at work, can sometimes experience ED&I as something happening to them rather than with them. When ED&I is framed only through lenses of gender or race, some men conclude they don’t belong in the discussion. That’s an inclusion gap in itself.

SC: There’s a bind many men feel. Media narratives sometimes paint people like me (white, middle aged, middle-class) as the historic[al] gatekeepers to power. Meanwhile, the public backlash to the word ‘woke’ has muddied the waters. In that environment, joining an ED&I conversation can feel like stepping into a trap. What if I offend? What if I expose my own ignorance? When the perceived personal risk is higher than the perceived benefit, people disengage.

Inclusion is a ‘rising tide that lifts all boats’

Both panellists agreed that the idea of ED&I as a zero-sum game is especially damaging. If inclusion is seen as winners and losers, there will never be broad support. My own view is different: inclusion should be seen as a rising tide that lifts all boats. Culture improves, performance improves, and opportunities become more meritocratic precisely because bias is reduced.

RC: Engaging with ED&I often requires a kind of professional vulnerability that hasn’t historically been rewarded. It means admitting you don’t know, listening to lived experience and being curious rather than certain. That’s a shift in corporate norms.

SC: A simple but powerful example from my own community is a weekly ‘walk and talk’ group. I joined the group after experiencing my own mental health crisis and being signed off work for six weeks. My wife found the walking group on Facebook. It started small but now regularly draws around 20 people. What makes it work is predictability – same time, same place – so there’s no barrier to entry. It’s a safe space where men can admit their struggles without fear of judgment. I am now a mental health first aider, and will keep walking with the group so as to give something back, as it was invaluable to me in my own time of crisis.

Although it wasn’t labelled as ED&I training, Stephen’s group captures the spirit of inclusion. It offers psychological safety, empathy and connection, which then feed back into the workplace. As Pepper Money’s Paul Adams reflected during our discussion, these experiences don’t just make you kinder, they make you a better, braver manager.

Changing the narrative

From our discussion, a set of obstacles became clear. Men who don’t see themselves in ED&I narratives often assume they’re observers, not participants. Fear of saying the wrong thing can lead to silence. If the tone suggests men are the problem, many will disengage before they can become part of the solution. And if initiatives feel heavy on slogans but light on substance, trust quickly evaporates.

So how do we change the picture? The key is to move from blame to benefit. Inclusion improves the climate for everyone, including men, because clarity and fairness make workplaces better for all. We also need to create safe spaces to learn, avoid jargon and offer low-intensity entry points such as walking groups – and sessions such as our Lunch and Learns!

Leaders, above all, set the tone.

RC: If a leader shares a learning moment or a time they got it wrong, it makes participation far less risky for others.

Making it clear that you don’t need to be an expert to join the conversation, and showing patience when someone stumbles, can make all the difference.

In conclusion, ED&I is not a zero-sum game. Done well, it is a rising tide, one that makes our sector fairer, more effective and more human. But to get there, we need more men in the conversation, not as targets or bystanders, but as learners, colleagues and contributors. The invitation is open. Now it’s up to all of us to work together, regardless of gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation, to make our industry a more inclusive and better place for everyone.