They don’t come along that often thankfully because that is a really cr*p, long nickname to give them.
Mr Eeyore has been suicidally depressed for as long as he has been a customer of ours. Hopefully, the two aren’t linked but you never know.
We have been very nice to him, because not only does he sound monumentally depressed on the phone when you talk to him, we also have lots of nice GP letters confirming that, yes, Mr Eeyore is depressed, suffers anxiety, feels down, has panic attacks and could do with cheering up.
He also comes across as quite a nice fella, just a bit urm…depressed?
Mr Eeyore has mentioned killing himself on a couple of occasions. Mentions of suicide are taken very seriously, but in general experience, if you’re suicidal (as a mortgage customer) you don’t go on about it. You just do it.
But for business reputational reasons we don’t er…take the risk.
Anyway, for about four years we’ve sent out agents to visit Mr Eeyore to try and work out payments, got medical updates from his GP, suggested selling his house, and pointed out that he really should be able to afford his mortgage as he had quite a nice well-paid job in the Civil Service.
The end result has been his mortgage is in arrears by £35,000 and the house is about to be repossessed.
We should have tried a bit of tough love on him from the start. His bailiff’s appointment was due in about a week and Mr Eeyore suddenly revealed that he has been eligible for his company pension for the last five years for a six figure pay out.
Which he has decided it’s now time to claim on.
Mr Eeyore also decided he is finally going to sell his five bedroom house and downsize to something more affordable.
He has basically been stressing for four years unnecessarily. The mind boggles it really does.
But as we’re all quite fond of him, we’re going to sit and wait for his pension to be paid out.
Silly old Mr Eeyore.
