IMLA ED&I Group: How to support the carers in our industry – Barrett

This army of people with caring responsibilities saves the UK £132bn per year (significantly more than we spend on the NHS) – and yet many would never describe themselves as a carer at all.

The Carer’s Trust defines a carer as someone who helps out a friend or family member who, due to illness, disability, a mental health problem or addiction, cannot cope without support. If you administer someone else’s medication, help with their personal care, provide physical assistance, help with their finances, provide practical support with everyday needs or spend time with them and give emotional support when needed, you are a carer.

Regrettably, if not surprisingly, research reveals that almost half of all carers find that their caring responsibilities negatively impact them, affecting their social lives, their own mental health and their financial position, while 42% said caring significantly impacted them at work.

It takes a lot of energy and resilience to be effective in the workplace while also managing caring responsibilities. Working carers simply cannot do everything on their own – it is simply too draining. As the saying goes, you cannot draw from an empty cup. There are some amazing resources out there to support carers, but the people who most need them may not know where to look for help.

As an industry, we must raise awareness, share our stories, knowledge and resources and support the carers in our ranks the best we can.

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Michelle Leech, mortgage intermediary technical specialist at NatWest 

I have been the carer for my dad, Bill, since a series of strokes left him unable to live independently three years ago. I make sure his daily needs are met. This involves managing chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and coordinating medical appointments. Balancing these duties with a full-time job can leave me feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin, often questioning how to fit everything into a single day.

Even simple outings, like taking Dad for a coffee, need meticulous planning. I find myself worrying about wheelchair accessibility, the availability of disabled loos… and then there’s the physical exertion involved in helping him in and out of the car. These concerns add a layer of stress that can make even the most pleasant activities feel daunting.

The emotional toll is significant. Last year, Dad spent six months in and out of the hospital, during which I experienced depression. I neglected my own interests and passions, particularly my love for travel, as the logistics became too overwhelming. I began to feel resentment, and our relationship shifted from familial to purely transactional.

Recognising the need for self-care, I have started taking two days each month solely for myself. During these days, I focus on my wellbeing, spending time with my husband, catching up with friends, or simply relaxing. Although I grapple with feelings of guilt, I understand that these moments are crucial for my mental health. I’ve also made a conscious effort to reintroduce exercise into my routine, as it helps with both my physical and emotional resilience.

Accepting outside support as a carer has also made a huge difference. Initially, I was reluctant to seek help, thinking I had to manage everything on my own. But when a social worker was assigned during one of my dad’s hospital stays, a range of fantastic resources became available to us. They assessed his needs and installed essential equipment like a hospital bed and grab rails – all at no cost.

Technology is also a huge help. A local charity provided my dad with an iPad, which helps him keep track of his medication. They check in with him twice daily, ensuring he’s taken his meds and offering vital human interaction. This not only supports his independence but also provides me with peace of mind.

Community services are another great help worth researching in your local area. For example, for £25 per year, Centre 81 in Norfolk offers a bus service that takes my dad to a community centre where he can socialise and enjoy meals. Knowing he’s safe and engaged allows me some much-needed respite.

Having a supportive workplace has been absolutely key in enabling me to balance my dual roles as a full-time employee and a carer for my dad. My manager, Larissa, and our team have cultivated an environment where open communication about personal challenges is encouraged. This understanding has allowed me to manage my responsibilities effectively without falling behind at work, and I’m deeply grateful for their support.

I now work compressed hours, taking Monday afternoons off to look after my dad’s needs. This flexibility is not just a convenience; it can be crucial for carers like me to maintain a work/life balance.

Despite the challenges, caring for my dad is an incredible privilege that brings me immense happiness. Embracing the available support has not only improved his quality of life but also allowed me to reconnect with my own passions and wellbeing.

Jenna Chesterman is business development manager at Coutts, part of NatWest

I’m a parent to Frank, my vibrant six-year-old son, who was diagnosed with autism at the tender age of two. Our journey has been filled with learning, growth, and a fair share of challenges. As a carer, I play a pivotal role in helping Frank navigate a world that often has a narrow view of what’s considered ‘normal’.

Frank is non-verbal, which means we’ve had to explore alternative ways to communicate. We’ve embraced tools like sign language and Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) cards. These methods have opened up new avenues for us to connect, proving that communication isn’t solely about words.

Being a carer isn’t without its emotional complexities. There are moments of grief for the life I envisioned for Frank and myself. Yes, there are times I feel resentment, but that doesn’t diminish the immense love I have for my son. It’s a reminder that it’s okay to acknowledge these feelings – they’re part of the journey.

Community has been a lifeline for us. I’ve built connections through local charities, church groups and community centres. Social media, despite its pitfalls, has been a treasure trove of information – from recommendations on the best ear defenders to local swimming lessons. The National Autistic Society’s Autism Services Directory is particularly helpful: by entering your postcode, you can find local events and support services tailored for autistic individuals and their families.

Frank goes to a specialist school, and the parents’ WhatsApp group has become an invaluable support network. We share everything from weekend activity ideas to the highs and lows of our daily lives. It’s comforting to know we’re all in the same boat, navigating similar challenges.

At work, the culture fostered by our senior management has been instrumental. It’s not just about flexible hours, it’s about feeling safe to share my experiences without fear of judgment or career limitations. This supportive environment has made a world of difference.

We’ve also found practical tools to help us. The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower lanyard is a discreet way to indicate that someone has a hidden disability and might need extra support. Then there’s the Pegasus scheme, which allows vulnerable adults and children to have their details pre-registered with local police, ensuring quicker assistance in emergencies, such as a person going missing. The RADAR key is also great. It only costs £5 and gives access to over 9,000 locked public loos across the UK.

My final thought is around the word ‘autism’ itself – it comes from the Greek ‘autos’, which means ‘self’. As a carer, I cannot do this by myself and I wouldn’t want any other carer to feel they had to do this alone either. It is vital that you reach out to the communities around you for support. Never be afraid to ask for help.