If asking for referrals was that easy, far more advisers would do it. Here is what it takes. It is not easy but others have done it and you can too – especially if you persist.
Believe in yourself and keep building your confidence.
Most advisers think that asking for referrals feels pushy or needy. I presented a company webinar for over 1,000 financial professionals last week. There was a guest adviser on the show called Eric, a former client of mine. I asked him what he said to himself that gave him the confidence to ask for referrals.
He responded by saying: “My belief is: why on earth would you not do business with me?” This is a great example of an empowering, confident belief.
Tip 1: Believe ‘it is silly not to ask’. Really, how often do you meet legitimate prospects you cannot help? 5% of the time? 1%?
Tip 2: Focus on the reasons why you should ask for referrals, not the unhelpful ones that stop you from asking right now.
Tip 3: Become your own number one fan. List 20 reasons why people should do business with you.
Tip 4: Learn how to change your beliefs by using the suggestions in John Assaraf’s book The Answer.
Tip 5: Be more confident: remember that time in your life when you were most confident and replicate what you can. Watch your thoughts and your body language carefully. Focus on your strengths.
Make sure that you earn the referral.
You do not recommend ‘business as usual’ – a bank whose staff is polite, a dentist who uses Novacaine, or a vet just because she takes care of your dog’s ear infection.
Tip 6: Ask yourself: what am I doing to earn referrals?
Slay your fears of asking.
Have you ever met a pushy person who expressed concerns to you about coming across as pushy? I doubt it. You are not being pushy by asking. You have great value to offer in an area where most consumers are making poor decisions left and right.
There is a big difference between unhealthy traits, like being aggressive or passive, and the healthy assertion that you can help others.
Know when to ask and what to say.
Ask when your client acknowledges that you have brought value (usually beyond what they expected) and/or when the relationship is good – when you have earned it.
Develop wording that works – learn wording that does not just work for that one superstar in your firm (often that is hard to replicate). I coach advisers on a six step fearless referral conversation that provides the necessary pieces to get high quality referrals on a consistent basis.
Tip 7: The most important steps when asking are being very specific about who you want to be referred to, and working with your referral source so that he is comfortable in opening up the door effectively. This means you are getting permission most of the time from the prospect to contact them or being personally introduced.
Build confidence through competency: practice your referral conversations.
There is an increasingly overwhelming body of research which shows that talent is not born but comes from deliberate practice. Talent is grown. Getting good at generating referrals is no different: it is a skill that you can learn. If you really want to be good at it – surprise, surprise – you need to practice. Underestimate this point at your peril.
Put more leverage on yourself.
What would get you to ask besides self-belief? The same adviser I mentioned earlier, Eric, shared this: “When I first started, my attitude was that either I get referrals or I am out of business.” He defined getting no referrals as failure, which for him was unacceptable. It is no wonder that he got good at it.
Tip 8: Set more juicy goals to push yourself to getting more referrals. Also, include ‘getting more quality referrals’ in your definition of success and ‘not asking’ as part of your definition of failure.
Tip 9: If saying to yourself: ‘I must ask’ is not pushing you to ask for referrals, then say to yourself: ‘I can ask for referrals’. ‘Can’ is a more empowering word for most people.
The only way to defeat your fear is to face it: find more ways to ask.
Tip 10: Build your asking muscle. Most of the time you get what you ask for. Start by asking for more things just out of your comfort zone from tap water at coffee shops to better seating at restaurants. Dealing with this slight discomfort makes it easier then to apply to your business.
While it is sometimes less effective, it is not a crime to make referral requests in an email or through LinkedIn.
Tip 11: Build your self-worth: Acknowledge yourself daily for what you did right. Stop beating yourself up just because you do not have parents and teachers close by to do that anymore.
Work deliberately on being more comfortable in your own skin – more transparent. You will be more referable.
Brian Tracy argues that “The key determinant to success in sales and in life is how much you like yourself. The more you like yourself, the less you fear rejection.”
Stop making excuses and take full responsibility for your business.
Who is responsible for your results?
Get busy making mistakes and growing your business rather than trying to look perfect.
Falling on your face is normal, and all top producers have done it more than they would care to recall. I still have my days when I leave inept voicemails and get my referral requests ignored.
Tip 12: Develop a support system – of people, animals, books, or music – whatever it takes.
Tip 13: Get comfortable getting uncomfortable.
This is not just a catchy play on words. We only grow outside our comfort zone. (When exercising, your muscles only ache when you go beyond what you usually do, right? And you learned much more your first year in business than your fifth).
In other words, your best learning zone is outside your comfort zone. Making progress is done often by small failures.
Expect referrals.
Jason is a client of mine in Louisiana. He likes to plant the seeds for referrals with an expectations discussion that basically states: “My goal is for you to be delighted with the work I do. That has to happen. Because if you are really happy, then you will recommend me to others and then it is a win for me too. So I have to do a great job for you.”
Last time we talked, he said: “I just expect people to refer us now.” This needs to be your goal too. When you ask and expect to receive, your body language, tone of voice, eye contact and wording all send a positive message. (This is another reason why practice is important. It is not just the words.)
Do you see why it is so simple now?
Well, be heartened by that fact, because most advisers do not know what you now know, and most of those who do will not be willing to do what it takes to put it into practice.
I challenge you to take action and develop this skill. It will last you a lifetime generating your favourite kind of business.
Matt is hosting a free webcast for the UK advice market on 25 November from 3-3:45pm GMT, at www.thoughtleadershiplive.com entitled: Fearless Referrals: How to Ask and What to Say.
