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Men may ‘not have actively bought into’ D&I so need encouragement – Averil Leimon

Written By:
Guest Author
Posted:
April 14, 2023
Updated:
April 14, 2023

Guest Author:
Averil Leimon, leadership psychologist at White Water Group

We need men… hard to admit but true. I know. The feminist saying, ‘women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle’ is lurking there in the recesses of our brains. Women have striven to be independent their entire lives, so it isn’t easy to ask for help.

We are not making as much progress on the gender dial because men have not actively bought into the whole diversity and inclusion thing. I’m sure you are saying, ’but we have these new policies and a woman on the board’. Yeah, how’s that working for you?

Here are some reasons, issues and solutions.

 

Men may not ‘see the issue’

They really do not see the issue. Or think it has already been fixed. Women are great, can do anything, so if they disappear it must be a personal choice, rather than despair at a toxic culture, being passed over in talent management or having to shout louder to be heard and then accused of being aggressive.

In our research for a bank, men and women wanted fairness, freedom and flexibility equally but they deviated dramatically over ‘female friendly’. The men just did not see there was a problem, even though the numbers screamed otherwise.

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Find out why women are leaving – do ‘real’ exit interviews in confidence and focus hard on the processes and behaviours that need changing.

 

Confidential coaching can help men explore feelings around diversity

Let men be politically incorrect (behind closed doors). Give them confidential coaching where they can really explore how they feel about diversity, what they believe deep down.

Quotes from recent sessions, ‘women only work for pin money’, ‘it’s so unfair of them to take our jobs just because they are women’ and ‘ appointments should be made on merit alone’ while not noticing that all the appointees look the same and great talent is overlooked.

Most men know better than to admit their beliefs out loud which means they never get to challenge, test and revise them. then change their corporate behaviour.

All the policies or targets in the world do not succeed at changing behaviour without changing beliefs and engaging men in the success of women .

Give men the chance to explore how they really feel about diversity, so that interventions are truly authentic.

 

Tell men what they need to, hints do not work

Tell men clearly what they need to do, then reward them when they do it.

Words are not enough. I’ve met so many ‘champions of women’, who get great PR but don’t have any women on their teams. Foster good practical behaviours.

Hints don’t really work. Here’s an excerpt of a practical guide I wrote for a financial institution;

  • If your team lacks gender balance, only fill positions with women till it is equal. You may have to look harder, take longer, but it really is that simple.
  • Do not accept women’s resignations without exploring what it would take for them to stay – usually feedback and opportunities will do the trick.
  • Ensure women’s voices are heard. Stop people talking over them.
  • Create formal mentorship processes; avoid traditionally male-dominated social and networking activities; make more events family-friendly.
  • Become known as the great boss who really fosters women.

If you want the full article Plain Guide for Diversity, just email me: aleimon@whitewatergroup.eu