Speaking on the Diversity and Inclusivity Finance Forum (DIFF) podcast for October, Kenny, business development adviser at Leeds Building Society, said she felt people had less respect for her when she first came out to them as gay.
As she joined the industry aged 17 and predominantly worked with people from older generations, some told her that maybe she was going through a phase or experimenting.
She said: “In turn, I felt like I’d lost a bit of respect from people in that area, not necessarily [that it was] outright homophobia, but because of their opinions and views that they felt so happy to just display to me.
“When looking to go for a promotion or to take extra responsibility, it was always in the back of my mind.”
She said it made her wonder if people took her seriously because they thought she was “confused”, and admitted it had a negative impact on the start of her career.
Now aged 25, Kenny feels more comfortable and has greater confidence, which is supported by the diversity and inclusion work done by Leeds Building Society.
Acknowledging that it was still difficult for some, Bagley, chief partnerships and marketing officer, said there had been a “generational shift” in how people viewed and approached the idea of coming out, noting that younger people did not seem to have the same fears.
Constantly coming out
In her experience, when Bagley came out 15 years ago while in her 20s, her colleagues were initially shocked. However, she said the “drag” was having to repeatedly come out to people up to this day “because every new interaction with somebody has the possibility of needing to explain it at some point”.
She added: “And whether that’s moving jobs into a new team or chatting with someone at dinner at an awards evening. There have been some occasions where someone might ask about my family, see the engagement ring on my finger, and then completely unintentionally make reference to a boyfriend or soon to be husband.”
However, she said she liked explaining the process of how her son, Austin, was born because it gave her the opportunity to inform people how gay couples become parents.
Bagley decided to put one of her eggs in her partner Sarah’s womb through IVF, a process which was successful on the first attempt.
“Fortunately for us, it was incredible,” Bagley said.
‘Not everybody’s going to be in a heterosexual relationship’
Kenny said people also enquired about her personal life or automatically assumed her partner was her friend.
She added: “It’s not to say that anyone’s coming from a negative place, but it is the ignorance… not everybody’s going to be in a heterosexual relationship.”
Once people realise Kenny is in a same sex relationship, she said comments tended to follow such as people saying she did not “look gay” or asking if her partner who wears no makeup and looser clothing was “the man figure”.
Kenny added: “When you get to know us, it’s a complete switch, just because we look like that on the outside. She’s the biggest softie, and I’m the one that wears the trousers.
“It’s just [those] assumptions when you meet people, and how they look, to how you perceive them. And I think that everyone’s a blank canvas and you should treat everyone as such.
“If you do have [those] presumptions, and you do think [those] comments, you’ve just got to think to yourself, ‘is it appropriate to say?’”
Don’t be nervous
Bagley said the “huge majority” of people in the sector were embracing diversity, adding: “They really want to learn and be conscious of how to interact with people. And that includes myself.”
However, she said she did not want people to feel too nervous about approaching differences.
Bagley said: “I don’t want [people] to become oversensitive to offending me, as an example, because you’re scared of saying the wrong thing.
“We just need to get better and better all of the time so it becomes an unconscious part of society and behaviour and how we act with one another. And that’s only going to come with time and people that want to learn and embrace diversity.”
Listen to the podcast [29:12] hosted by Bharat Sagar, ambassador at large at AE3 Media and featuring Lauren Bagley, chief partnerships and marketing officer at Uinsure and Vicky Kenny, business development adviser at Leeds Building Society.
